


Missing You

by katsumi_ym (Katsumi27)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 09:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17363723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsumi27/pseuds/katsumi_ym
Summary: Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Hinata are now in college and living together. But life has gotten busy for all of them and it's been a while since they've spent some time together. Tadashi misses them a lot.Warnings: anxiety & panic attacks





	Missing You

The front door closes with the usual loud bank that shakes the walls of the apartment. It's only due to having heard it so much that Tadashi recognizes it as their own door and not the neighbors'. He slips ~~his~~ Kei's headphones off and sets them down on the dining table next to his laptop as Kei rounds the corner, still in the process of peeling off his jacket and many sweaters. 

"Oh, Tadashi, I didn't know you were home. I have to study for an exam but I can do it in my room if you--"

"No, no. Study here, with me. I have the headphones on so I won't bother you with my music..."

The way that comes out seems strange somehow, so he stands up before even hearing Kei's reply. "Um, Do you want tea?"

"Yes, thank you. I'll join you in a sec."

Tadashi pauses and frowns a little, watching as Kei sets his bag down and disappears down the hall in the direction of the bedroom. He walks to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

Something about the sight of Kei filling up the entryway was striking, almost unfamiliar. But that was _wrong_. Why should seeing Kei coming home feel unfamiliar? They had lived together for two years now, in this very apartment. He must have seen that very sight a hundred times by now.

But Tadashi couldn't actually remember the last time they had sat and studied together. It was usually just Tadashi and his books all over the dining table, or the coffee table, waiting for Kei or Shouyou to come home. Tadashi's desk was hardly touched.

And when was the last time they had gone to one of Shouyou's games together? Tadashi went when he could, and so did Kei, but it rarely coincided.

The kettle sings and startles Tadashi out of his thoughts. He carefully fills the teapot, grabs a tray with three-- no, two cups, and carries it to the table. Kei wanders back in carrying a heavy textbook and takes a seat at the table with a sigh.

He thanks Tadashi again for the tea.

Tadashi isn't sure what to say so he just sits down. He leaves the headphones off and tries to focus on his readings for class.

 

"Tadashi."

"Hm?"

"You're tapping your pen."

"Oh. Sorry, Tsukki."

He puts his pen down and stares at the space on the table between his laptop and notebook. He hasn't written anything in maybe half an hour. He can't seem to focus.

He can feel Kei looking at him. He doesn't know what it means or what he should do. It's like he's forgotten--

"I haven't heard you say that in a while," Kei muses.

"Huh? What?"

"'Sorry, Tsukki', I haven't heard it in a while."

"Oh. I...I guess it has been a while."

"Are you okay?"

Tadashi looks up from his laptop and sees a careful, almost hesitant kind of concern on Kei's face. Like he's worried about saying the wrong thing.

"Yeah. Of course. Are _you?_ It seems like this semester has been busy for you."

Kei sighs and pulls his glasses off to rub his eyes, "I guess you could say that. The lab requirement for this course just eats up so much time. And the research with Professor Akita just keeps going in circles. It's ridiculous."

Tadashi's brow furrows in confusion, "You're doing research with a professor this semester?" It was months into the semester, how was this news to him?

"I helped him a bit last semester too, but this is more formal."

"That's amazing. How did I not know that?"

"I guess it just never came up. We've all been pretty busy. I didn't even know Shouyou was coaching elementary school kids until last week--"

"Shouyou is _coaching?!_ Since when?"

Kei's eyes widen a bit at the outburst but he tilts his head thoughtfully.

"Since October, I think."

Tadashi realizes he stood up at some point, and sits back down awkwardly. He frowns at his laptop to avoid looking at Kei.

"Tadashi..."

Suddenly his mind feels too full of half-baked thoughts and emotions. _October isn't that long ago. Not like Kei's research work._ His vision begins to swim and he swallows hard around the knot in his throat. _I have to do my homework. Kei has a test coming up. Just calm down._

"Hey," Kei's voice comes from nearby. Tadashi closes his eyes.

Long arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him closer. Tadashi presses his face against the soft material of Kei's sweater and tries to just breathe and not cry.

Kei doesn't say anything else, he just leans down and hugs Tadashi tightly.

Tadashi sobs against Kei's shoulder, thinking about how much he's _missed_ this feeling. It feels like forever since he's been this close to Kei, heard his voice, his _laugh_. A simple hug feels like going home after a year in Tokyo.

He can hardly remember what Shouyou _sounds like_ when he asks for "one more toss". Tadashi didn't think it was even possible to forget something like that, but suddenly everything seems so far away, so long ago.

 _What if we just_ drift apart _? Not even break up. What if one day we just realize they haven't spoken in_ months? _What if graduation comes around and it turns out that Kei and Shouyou changed their minds? They're still going to follow their dreams, but just without me. Or, graduation comes around and I can't even find them? I look for them because it's time for us to go home, to Miyagi, but they're gone. They just disappear. What if I never see them again? What if--_

"--dashi. Tadashi, hey, look at me. I'm right here, Tadashi, please look at me."

"Tadashi, hey. Just keep looking at me, it's going to be okay. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

Kei's face slowly comes into focus, but the rest of the room feels like it's spinning around them. Tadashi blinks slowly.

"Tadashi, can you do me a favor? Can you tell me what color my eyes are?"

Tadashi frowns. He knows this, but he looks to make sure.

"...gold. Brown. Light-brown."

"Good. What can you feel on your skin?"

"On my skin...? Cold. Your hands? Your hands are cold."

Tadashi brings his hands up and places them over Kei's, on each side of Tadashi's face. Kei smiles at him, and Tadashi feels himself relax and try to smile back.

He notices now that Kei is kneeling on the floor in front of him. Tadashi doesn't remember when that happened.

Realization slowly dawns on him as he takes in that detail. "Oh, I--"

Then the exhaustion hits, hard.

Tadashi slides off his chair and into Kei's waiting arms. He cries quietly, muttering apologies when he has the oxygen to spare.

Kei rubs his back in gentle circles, responding calmly to each apology, "I've got you. It's okay."

 

When Tadashi pulls away to wipe his face with his sweater sleeve, Kei holds his elbows to steady him.

"I'm sorry. I just..." He stares at his dirty sweater sleeves and thinks about changing it. Maybe he should take a shower, he's gross.

"It's okay. We can take a bath in a little bit. It'll be nice."

Tadashi nods, wondering how it is Kei can read his mind.

"Do you want to tell me what you're worried about? Or do you want to wait until later?"

"I...miss you. I just really miss you and Shouyou. I feel like I never see you these days. And I don't know what classes you're taking or that Shouyou started coaching. Thats so important and yet I didn't know. How can we live together and never see each other?"

"Mm, yeah. I've missed you too."

"And--"

"Hm?"

"I just-- I don't want to drift away from you. I don't want to lose either of you."

"You know, I'm kind of glad that this is what you were worried about."

Tadashi looks a little skeptical, "Why?"

"Because, it's something I can do something about," Kei says with a smile. He has that look in his eyes that he gets when he's being mischievous. Tadashi loves that look.

"How? We're all so busy and have different schedules. I don't want to pull either of you away from your commitments, you're working so hard--"

"Tashi. Do you remember why we decided to come here together?"

Tadashi blushes a bit at the nickname, "What do you mean?"

"We're here together so we can support each other. Going to Shouyou's games whenever we can, you and Shouyou leaving me dinner when I have classes that go late, and being here for you when _you_ need _us_. Or did you think that you were only here to support Shouyou and I?"

Tadashi is quiet for a moment as he processes that.

"Do you want to get the bath running? I'll join you in a second with some tea."

Tadashi nods and moves to stand. Kei grabs his arms and helps him, making sure he's not still shaky.

 

Ten minutes later, Kei joins Tadashi in the bath, and watches as his boyfriend slowly relaxes beneath the steaming water.

 

Forty-five minutes later, Shouyou rushes through the door and eagerly joins them on the couch for an evening of silly movies and snacks instead of a proper dinner.

 

Their lives don't get any less busy, but Tadashi worries a little less about them drifting apart.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm honestly not too sure why I keep writing about Tadashi & anxiety but here we are.  
> This was a little thing I wrote as part of an AU but it worked well as a stand-alone piece. I hope you enjoyed it!


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